What I didn’t say in my last post, is that the doctor at U of M was amazing. She was so kind and supportive and thorough and apathetic. Though we didn’t get the answers we were searching for, to have such knowledgeable and caring people working with us, was a blessing. It was a bittersweet appointment.
In other news…if we do get pregnant, I think we’ll find out the sex of the child as soon as possible. Which is a strange thought coming from us since we love the surprise…but then we can name our child and start bonding so we can have as much time possible with him/her.
I’m really apprehensive about trying again. I’m not sure when we’ll start…but I’m apprehensive. My heart has endured so many fractures…I’m not sure if I’ll stay together if we have another blow. I may just break and fall apart for good. But I have to take the chance. I can’t give up.
One thing that makes me nervous though, is the child. I pray that if and when our babies die(d), they feel/felt no pain. Thinking they felt scared and pain haunts me…and if they did…I don’t think I could risk another one enduring it.