Monthly Archives: December 2009

Today felt different. I was happy playing with Asher for the first time since losing Selah. I really enjoyed laughing with him. We had 2 unexpected visitors and both warmed my heart. I didn’t think I was ready, but it … Continue reading →

I forgot how empty I felt after losing Jorai. I was lying in bed last night and for some reason, as I stretched out on my back, I instinctively placed my hands on my now empty belly and I instantly … Continue reading →

Sitting in the waiting room sucked. There was only 1 woman, but of course she was majorly pregnant, which didn’t really bother me until the DO came out to talk to her about her c-section tomorrow and I had to … Continue reading →

Tomorrow I have my first post baby appointment. I’m not sure if they’ll already have the test results back from Selah or not, but I’m nervous. I’m nervous to hear what our fate may be. We’ll still need to do … Continue reading →

I’ve been thinking a lot about this statement. So many people use it. I’ve used it. I used to think it was biblical, but from what I can tell…it’s really not. In 1 Corinthians 10:13 it says ‘But remember that … Continue reading →

Here are some of the pictures of Selah we got back from Kristy through Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep. The last one of Steve breaks my heart.

It’s almost Christmas day. It’s 9 minutes away. Tomorrow morning I should be celebrating with my 3 children. But instead, there will be only 1. Upstairs lies my sweet miracle baby boy, whom I love so very much. But my … Continue reading →

I always hated seeing those words. dead baby. I always thought that there was a better way to say it. Maybe it’s the bitterness that makes me chose those words instead of others. I don’t know. Life has been challenging … Continue reading →

I hate crying. I feel drained. In the hospital, between starting the process, and the moment before giving birth, I didn’t cry. I was dry. I had cried all the tears my body had for 24 hours and I laid … Continue reading →

My pregnancy with Selah was alike to Jorai’s. I was blissfully ignorant. There were a few times where I was a bit scared with Selah, but all in all, I was happy and enjoying my pregnancy and awaiting the birth … Continue reading →

I hate doing this online…I hate sharing horrible news on this blog before everyone I care about knows first hand, but I can’t sleep and I need to scream. And truthfully, I don’t have the guts nor strength to talk … Continue reading →